basically...my lifes over, or i wish it was...i dont wanna cut, cutting is stupid cuz i dont wanna almost die, i wanna die. i dont wanna go to school and have all my friends yell at me for cutting, i dont ever wannna go to school again.


When he first told me he didnt love me or even like me anymore and that he never would again...i didnt think i still loved him, i was sad but nto as sad as i was the first time he stopped loving me which was the day b4 amandas birthday party and i couldnt even like move. But...i just didnt believe it yet. none of it seemed real, i had the perfect life and i fucked it up.

Im not quite sure of wat to do now tho....its like starting over new. Im bak to where i was b4...Im supposed to move on and get on with my life, i am gunna try but idk....every1 says there gunna marry the persno they love in high school and middle school, most of them dont mean it...they sit there writing their first name with his last but never truely understand it...i wasnt like that, i was ACTAULLY stupid enough to think that i was gunna be with him forever. For the past few months, maybe even a year...i have been loving him mroe and more everyday, now...i have to learn to love him less and less everday until i can get to the point where i understand wat happend and wats gunna happen, im not there yet and idk when i will be...